Friday August 31st sometime after 9pm on UKTV G2.

Totally Viral. Series 2. Episode 1.

Joey’s on TV.

Fucking Yes.

It’s got squirrels, swearing and drunkenness. And me. It gets no better than this my friends. Bask in my glory.

I’m on for precisely 36 seconds (including 17 swear words) on some shit channel that no-one’s heard of, at a time that everyone’s down the pub.

Richard Littlejohn’s new book has been getting the Hasselhoff treatment on Amazon, with people leaving ironic / piss take reviews.

I left one a week ago:

Clearly one of the greatest authors of our, if not all time
Universally accepted as intellectually gifted
No-one else can express such complex right wing views in such a monosyllabic form
To buy only one copy of this book would be a crime

Not particularly clever or funny, but fuck it, I only spent 30 seconds on it.

The Times clearly hasn’t realised that everyone was taking the piss, and has just quoted me twice in their own review. Fame indeed.

UKTV got in touch a couple of days ago as they want to use that drunk squirrel video I made in the new series of Totally Viral. They’ll have non-exclusive rights to it for 3 years, and it’s not great money, but then I’ve always been a bit of a cheap attention whore.

No idea if it will end up getting broadcast, but my exhibitionist side likes the idea of Joey filth being inflicted on thousands of viewers. 17 obscenities in a clip lasting 36 seconds ain’t bad going.

Oh and no idea who/what’s suddenly linked to my Heather Mills’ video but it’s had about 40,000 extra hits in the last 24 hours… half seem to like it and half think I’m a bit of a sick fuck… I’m probably inclined to agree with the latter.

Buy God of War
It’s fucking hardcore
You go around killing
with a big ass sword

Lyrical genius from Henry and myself. No really. Well ok, maybe not quite genius (or even close), but people seem to like it; sent off the final piece on Monday, and the feedback was positive. I have a feeling that it’s a bit too much like a trailer of the game rather than a viral send-to-your-friends type video but hey, it was a laugh to work on.

Talking of (this time actual) lyrical genius, Frank Turner’s “Sleep is for the Week” is fucking awesome. First album I’ve listened to in ages where I ended up stopping doing anything else just to listen carefully to the lyrics. The music is excellent, but it’s almost overshadowed by the stories Frank tells.

Once we were anarchists

Because I’m young enough to be all pissed off
But I’m old enough to be jaded
I’m at the age where I want things to change
But with age my hopes have faded
I’m young and bored of being young and bored
If I was old I could say I’d seen it all before
In short; I’m tired of giving a shit.