I have little pride, nor much of a sense of shame when it comes to making a twat out of myself, hence this post.

I do however have a sense of regret.

I won’t go into too many details of what happened last Saturday night, largely because I can’t.

I have no idea what happened après midnight. I don’t think I got beaten up. I might have hit someone/something as my right hand is badly bruised and swollen. I may have been mugged as I no longer have neither my glasses nor my wallet. All I know is that I lost several hours and ended up waking up in the middle of nowhere inbetween a busy road and a fast flowing river covered in (hopefully largely self inflicted) cuts and bruises. I am honestly surprised that I didn’t manage to inadvertently kill myself. I know for a fact that if I had fallen in the river I would not be here now; I couldn’t get to my feet on regular ground and most definitely could not walk nor talk. It took me about 2 hours to walk a mile back to a mate’s house. I am not sure if someone helped me.

I honestly don’t know whether my drink was spiked; admittedly I had had a bit to drink, but I’ve drunk a lot more in the past and been fine. On occasions when I have had a few too many, and have had the odd blank spot, my memory of the night tends to taper off slowly into a hazy blur. I’ve always realised when this was happening in the past, and have always known my limits.

Last Saturday my memory just stops dead at a point; I more or less instantly and totally lost control. This didn’t feel like just being drunk.

Reading this post may well seem funny to the average visitor. I’ve had many nights out where I’ve made a complete twat out of myself that I am happy to laugh about with hindsight.

However the events of last Saturday honestly scared the shit out of me. I know that it was at the very least partially self inflicted, and am not expecting nor wanting sympathy. All I know is that I somehow fucked myself up for the next three days by consuming what was more or less a typical night’s worth of alcohol.

It has shaken me up a fair bit, and I’ve decided to go tee total for a while.

I am not quite sure whether I have christened this post after the author or his night out.