She’s the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her.
Dresden Dolls (Dirty Business)

I’ve just had a dream about Harry Hill turning into Derren Brown and making people slide down bannisters.  I’m not sure what to make of this.

Chodski’s have a helmet cam.  Just need JD to mend his bones and show us how it’s done.  Have a bit of Mangina action.

Fuck work, I think I’m gonna go out on my bike.

Richie and Henry sort your shit out and dedicate some time and lovin’ to the Daddy Bear. We need to meet up and drop some bombs no diggity. Booooooooommmmm. Walk with the big bear.

Oh and happy bday and all that Catherine

Skip this if you don’t like cycling

This year’s Tour de France has been possibly the weirdest in the history of the event.  Ignoring all of the doping issues that resulted in the top five riders being denied entry, there’s been a very unorthodox feel to the race.  It has been kinda like schoolboy football, no-one either wants to or knows how to defend.  It started off with a sprinter winning the prologue which was pretty unusual in itself.  The jersey then changed hands several times before the favourites took over when it hit the Pyrenees.  Landis took control of GC but then subsequently announced it wasn’t up to him to defend it.  Oscar Pereiro, a top 10 GC rider, lost 30 mins over these mountain stages, but was then bizarrely handed these 30 minutes back and became the new leader when the peleton didn’t bother chasing his breakaway a few days later.  Landis then completely folded and lost 8 minutes on GC in the 16th stage, and was seemingly out of contention.  The peleton then let him ride away and claim most of that back the next day, with CSC, T-Mobile and none of the other teams prepared to chase him down.  Pereiro knew that he and everyone else was losing the tour and asked CSC and T-Mobile to help chase down Landis, but they refused.  Landis should now win the ITT and the tour as a result, with only Klöden and Evans being able to stop him.

For once it seems the strongest rider will win, as opposed to the rider with the best team.  Riders take the lead, and then give it away as their team is unable to defend.  If USPS/Discovery defended like T-Mobile/CSC/Phonak have this year then Lance wouldn’t have won a single tour.  If Vino had been racing, he’d have destroyed the peleton on his own this year.

I have a new favourite film. Fuck Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction, Edward Scissorhands is where it’s at. I watched it again the other day for the first time in about 10 years and it rocked… I usually have an aversion to rediscovering things from your childhood, as turning back the clock inevitably tends to depreciate your memories and shit on your childhood. Dizzy Treasure Island on the Spectrum with the 10 minute loading sequence has somehow lost it’s appeal. As have 90% of films, games and tv shows. However looking back you do notice subtle things that weren’t apparent first time around. Jeff Goldblum was actually quite good in Jurassic Park. Johnny Depp was amazing in the film which wasn’t actually a comedy about a man with scissors for hands. And Roxette have never received the recognition they truely deserved for the groundbreaking Tourism album. I suspect I might be alone on the latter.

I have a new fetish for Burlesque dancers. In a world where you’re only two clicks away from spread legs, there’s something sexier about keeping your clothes on.

I would bore you all with tales of lazy days down the beach whilst most of you are working in this heatwave, but I’d hate to rub it in. So I won’t.

Fact of the day: Shopping channels exist on two levels. 1: For the fuckwits who brighten up their lives with their compulsion to spend. 2: For the more cynical viewers who watch solely to remind themselves that no matter how dissatisfied they may be with their own life, there are a lot more people who are filed under category 1. You might not have everything going for you, but at least you’re not bidding on some Diamonique plastic tat.

Vote Yes Boss to open the V festival.  They were interviewed on TV last night, and were quoted saying “Most people come up to us and say that they didn’t expect to like us but they ended up loving our show”.  Or as I so eloquently phrased it to Noah “I thought you were going to be complete shit but you kicked ass”.  I am a master of tact when drunk.

I caught a few minutes of a program on bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan.  It seems to be acceptable practice there for the family of an unmarried son to kidnap a local girl and keep her prisoner until she either kills herself or marries the son.  They had some weird initiation involving dressing the girl against her will in the family shawl, which had startling similarities with League of Gentlemen’s Papa Lazarou… “You’re my wife now Dave”… I realise that we shouldn’t necessarily try to impose Western customs and culture on other countries, but this did seem to be a denial of human rights.

I’ve just had another corporation come after me following on from the incident with Corbis. This time it’s the lovely folk at Getty Images, who want £1600 for the use of an image, which I removed and stopped using before they even contacted me. I’m not too worried this time, and am going to offer them compensation for the same amount that BigStockPhoto are selling their images - $2.50. Check out my awesome illustration of the image in question…

Apart from that life is pretty good… just been working, riding and playing the geeetar

So no takers for Castle Rock then?