Archive for May, 2006
Blur
Having a few quiet beers before rapidly getting fucked and then ignored by a twat of a mate and losing money on the scope machine then getting more drunk and sending pissed up e-mails to wankers and then suffering and then recovering and getting pink belted up and drinking thick alcoholic cough medicine and burnt food and laughing at Mangina’s gammon poisoning and streaking and fucked up events in Wales and Fluid and home-made porn and Jon’s drunken sleepwalking and monged hip and Just for Men and fucking evil mobile videos and Chodski blob week and more circus porn and Questy’s shoulder getting snapped before stumbling into Superman and getting fucked on cheap ersatz vodka and random shouting and wearing plastic winners medals and kissing fifty year olds cos it was funny and talking bollocks to faceless strangers and keeping my clothes on for once and dancing like an uncoordinated scope robot whilst acquiring plastic beer pump badges and dirty boy Lank and strange coloured shots and discovering hidden yet unrewarded and pointless loyalty and consuming random meaty chunks of grease. Word to that.
Posted: May 31st, 2006 under Life.
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Updates
It was strangely compelling watching a girl kiss several different guys just moments after being sick right in the middle of the pub. She emerged from the toilets with the typical air of sophistication that seems to resonate from most Helston slags, and with a dainty wipe to rid the semi-diluted vomit dribble from her delightful chops, she set about sharing the taste of her dinner…
I somehow ended up having a conversation at the bar with the town bike, who is normally the most annoying person I know. However she redeemed herself by telling me the funniest joke in the world ever, although I can’t repeat it here as it doesn’t really translate that well…
The Automatic are playing the Ripcurl Boardmasters in Newquay, supporting Feeder. 4th August, £25 a ticket, should be a laugh, who’s up for it? Henry, Cat et moi so far…
Frances is denying selling out and appearing in an advert for Dell… you be the judge…
Myself and Richie are slowly perfecting our Cornish ghetto slang inbetween our drunken ninja fights… Fo Shizzler My Nizzler… Snoop would be proud…
Oh and congrats to Lordi for fucking over Daz Sampson…
Posted: May 21st, 2006 under Life, Music / Gigs.
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There’s no such thing as a tumbling midget…
Cobblers children have no shoes. Joey has a shit PC. I now have a new and slightly faster one.
I’m moving on the 4th. It kinda feels like a weight’s been lifted off my back. I’m looking forward to no bills. And no washing up.
Am slowly planning the trip to Thailand. I’m going to stay in Bangkok for a few days, and then fly to Phuket for about 10 days, then return to Bangkok for the remainder. Then back to here I guess. That’s the rough plan. I don’t want anything too fixed, as I’m not really one for schedules, but at the same time I don’t want to get stuck in a city for 21 days. Internal flights seem to be a bargain at about £45.00 return including taxes, for what would be a 1000km train journey.
Fact of the day: Just as, if you believe the bloke down the pub, cows can’t walk down stairs and dogs can’t look upwards, midgets can’t fall over. Seriously. It came to me in a dream. They have a much lower centre of gravity, and their ears are larger in proportion to their bodies than your regular sized person’s. Better hearing = better balance.
I’ve never seen one fall over anyway.
Posted: May 16th, 2006 under Life.
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Death by daytime radio
I wrote this about 3 to 4 months ago but never got round to publishing it. Better late than never eh?.
It is fucking annoying how many bands have had their music ruined by overexposure in the last couple of years. The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, We are Scientists, Editors, Kasabian, Razorlight, Alkaline Trio, Maximo Park, Nine Black Alps, My Chemical Romance, Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party, Jack Johnson, José González, Royksopp, The Bravery, The Departure, The Futureheads, The Subways etc etc etc… the list is endless…
Currently being kicked to death by bandwagon daytime DJs are Sigur Ros, The Kooks, The Raconteurs, Boy Kill Boy, Wolfmother, The Automatic etc etc
Who’s next up for the chop? I reckon the following:
- Milburn
- The Fratellis
- Forward Russia!
- Plan B
- Blackbud
- Guillemots
- The Sunshine Underground
- Battle
- Hot Chip
- Yeti
- The Rakes
I’ll be bookmarking this post to use as a told-ya-so in months to come.
You can bookmark it to use it as a what-the-fuck-were-you-on?…
Posted: May 16th, 2006 under Music / Gigs.
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