I discovered yesterday that raw bacon tastes fucking nice.  Seriously.  Kinda like Parma ham… Try it (as long as you don’t blame me if you get Trichinellosis)…

Weetabix can solve global warming.  No matter how much milk you put in a bowl of weetabix, it will always end up dry.  When the icebergs melt, and the ocean rises, just chuck a couple of boxes in the sea and jobs a good un.  Also handy for clearing up oil slicks.

Washing clothes on the highest temperature setting only shrinks them if you do it by mistake…  I have a load of old (read: dodgy ebay) Religion/Ringspun/Surf tees that I’d wear if they were skinnies…  One wash in boiling water later and they are still vaguely normal sized…

Hope of the States are trying to sound like Placebo with their new stuff.  This isn’t a bad thing.

I now have tickets to see Frank Turner’s Campfire Punk Rock thang.  He’s gonna rock.

I’m also going next week to see The Sunshine Underground, Apartment, Marvin and the Gayes, and Yes Boss.

The first three should be good; the latter being “Two Leeds lads who are startling indie audiences everywhere with an crafty blend of sing-a-long choruses, interspersed with intelligent and witty white boy rap”. 

I won my court case against the guy who refused to pay me. He didn’t contest it. He now has a CCJ against him so his credit rating is fucked. I still have no money though. Essentially I have paid £80.00 in court fees to fuck him over, rather than actually recoup any money owed. I guess overall I’ve actually paid money for the privilege of working for someone, which doesn’t really make good business sense…

I can now pay another £35 to have the bailiffs come in. Even then there’s no guarantee I’ll get any money. Our legal system is a fucking joke. I want his testicles in a jar.

Oh and congrats to Mangina, who’s gone a bit Chris Martin by naming his newborn daughter Summer…

I had a fucking good weekend.

Went to see Chesney Hawkes on Thursday. It’s another one marked off the list; go through puberty, lose your virginity, have your first pint, see the one and only…. It didn’t live up to expectations, but I’m not sure if this a good thing. It was so appalling, it was good. No live band, just a skipping backing track CD and 200 of Penzance’s classiest residents to keep him company, Chesney sang for nearly 15 minutes in his wifebeater, before fucking off. He wouldn’t shake my hand so I grabbed hold of his shoulder. It seemed funny at the time. He also wouldn’t sign Daisy’s pristine original 1991 LP of Mr Hawkes one hit single.

Daisy was a nice girl who interested me. I have no words to describe her dress sense, but it had a “don’t give fuck” attitude that I kinda like in girls. She had a power ranger for an earring. I am still unsure whether this is very cool or not. The rest of her clothes were 50’s style, which kinda worked, especially in a sea of girls who had belts for skirts and slutty tops. We got on quite well but I didn’t want to ruin it by asking for her number.

The next morning I felt like shit. I don’t mind having hangovers if I deserve them… actually I do mind them, but I’ll concede defeat and accept them. However if I only drink 5 pints and wake up feeling shit, it is a little unfair. I then made the mistake of going out to lunch with Ellie, Sue, Cat and Henry, when I should have locked myself away and slept it off. Instead I sat there being very anti social, with the sun in my eyes, my head hurting and a plate of live squid for a starter. I did my usual thing of ordering the thing on the menu that I’m least likely to cook at home; chilli squid sounded quite nice. I expected it to be crispy and hot. It was undercooked, overly sweet and upon consumption ready to attack me from within. I gave up after 4 mouthfuls. The next course was just as bad. £20.00 for 6 mouthfuls of food and two unfinished dishes. Bargain. Note to self: order the blandest thing on the menu next time.

I’d recovered enough later on to have a few beers with Cat, Sue and Henry, but went home before 1 so I’d be fine for the next day; a combination of a mate’s leaving do, and another mate’s stag night.

Newquay was cool on Saturday; I saw loads of old friends and had a really good time. After a few drinks at identical faceless bars, I managed to blag myself on the guest list at Sailors; whilst everyone else had to queue and pay a tenner, I got straight in for free. Inside was kinda surreal, I spent the whole night talking but can’t really remember who to.

It must be really depressing to live there though. The whole place had a fake feel to it; I like drinking in strange pubs full of locals, but not in touristy bars full of misplaced drunken wankers, myself included. The place had no character. Perhaps there are some dirty backstreet pubs for people like me…

Sunday my head was fucked, was hungover til mid afternoon. Could have been worse though, James and a couple of others missed the lift back from Newquay so faced either sleeping rough or a £200 taxi fare.

Oh and what is with my mates and breeding? Congrats to Jim for getting his missus up the duff, and to Mangina and Lank who are both about to become dads again… seems I’m about the only one of my mates who has no responsibilities in his life… this is a good thing, I’m enjoying life.

Apologies for length, but not for girth.

I’m not 100% on this, but I’ve just read on a couple of Muse fansites that they will be headlining the 4th session at the Eden Project.  I kinda suspected it as they had been hinting at a date in the SW, and heard that Teignmouth council had been trying to sort out a homecoming gig.

The festivals – of which one is Eurockéennes in France – have been announced, as well as a European tour in the Autumn and a date at the Boldeva Eden Project, the hall closest to Teignmouth, responding to a request from the local government in January.

Source: ROCKMAG article/interview on Muse’s new album

The Eurockéennes Festival is confirmed, but the Eden one isn’t in any official press releases as of yet, but I’m fucking there!  Who’s joining me?

Yeah we do, yeah we do. Shit lyrics from a shit band, but kinda sums up my day. Got up late-ish, did a bit of work, visited a client and then went out on my bike for a couple of hours. For the first time in years, I cycled slowly, and made a conscious effort to notice my surroundings, rather than the usual head down and flat out.

Have a couple of pics. They’re not great, but the scenery is.

I think I’ll do the same tomorrow…