Over the last few days I have been…

Working out what the fuck to do with my life.  I’m still none the wiser.

Ignoring an ex-friend.  He fucked me over.  Over a period of about 4 years.  I’m not convinced he’s changed.

Putting off sorting out my tax returns til the absolute deadline.

Finally going out on my bike for the 1st time this year.  Cold air and unfit lungs are not a good combination; I’m embarassingly slow compared to when I used to race.  Think I’m going to start riding more, not to start racing again, more to stay in ok shape. 

Drinking too much coffee

Getting drunk when supposed to be having just a quiet night out.

Chatted up Asked for one night stands by two women old enough to be my mum.  Think my mates must have told one of them I fancied her.  She then spent approximately half an hour telling me how I should fuck her.   If I wasn’t celibate before, she was enough to turn me. Think she got the message in the end when we all basically ran out of the pub.

Given £100 for naming a company Pure Austria

Giving aforementioned £100 to Amnesty International because let’s face it, they need it more than me.  Might save someone from rotting in jail for their political beliefs rather than be pissed up against a wall like it probably would have done if I’d kept it.  Although it won’t guarantee my place in heaven, it might at least delay the trip to hell… not that I particularly believe in either… 

Doing the odd bit of work in between buying crap amazingly stylish clothes on Ebay, msn, and chasing debts…

Well I’ve finally reached the crossroads.  House is now “Sale Agreed”, and although it has fallen through at this stage in the past, I don’t expect it to a second time.  To be honest I’m not that bothered… it’s forced me to make some decisions… if the house sells then I can’t be arsed to rent again…  I’m gonna move back home and save I think, which will be a piece of piss…  depends how long I can stand living there, feels really claustrophobic…. my pc is fucked, and so the logical step would be to get a laptop… which would give me the ability to go travelling before I have any major commitments in my life… really want to just fuck off for a while and see the world… which will inevitably mean some clients wanting to leave me… grrrrrrrrr I have no fucking clue at the moment… can someone make a decision for me…

My hard-drive is a graveyard for unfinished projects.  I like to think of them as in hibernation; to be awoken from their dormant state, finished off, and published sometime in the future, but in reality this is a bit of a myth… the only thing I ever actually complete is work.  I get inspired, throw myself into an animation or design, and then lose interest and abandon it; hidden within the depths of a folder with a vague sounding name.

And repeat. 

For this reason I’ve decided to publish an incomplete animation, in the hope that as I’m only comfortable showing people completed projects, this will force me to do something about it.  My online equilivalent of running out into the street naked in the belief that it will force me into getting dressed, for the want of a better analogy.

Ok, the concept behind this was that I wanted to tell a story in Flash, using largely raster images, and tiny amount of vector work.  I was too lazy to take didn’t want to take the photos myself, and so instead decided that every photo would be taken from Google Image search, tarted up in Photoshop, and animated together.  The animation is shot from the main character’s point of view. Essentially the story is about a man, who gets depressed with his mundane life, and tries to kill himself, but somehow fails.  He tries again, and fails yet again. Several attempts later, he decides that maybe after all life isn’t so bad, and so he’ll try and live out his years.  At which point he gets killed in the most unlikely way possible.  Nice cheery little black comedy.

Anyway, I got up to the point where you see his daily regime, getting up, going to work etc.  Once I’d completed a days worth I was going to am going to repeat the same sequence, but at a faster rate, with the music sped up, and keep on doing this to illustrate just how dull and depressing his life is.

Anyway without further ado, to the sound of a slightly undramatic and vaguely dissappointed drumroll, here is Immortal (crap working title).

Decided to go out last night because I couldn’t stand staying in any longer.  Mr J Daniels wrapped his warm arms around me and assured me that the world was a happy and fun place.  I can’t remember much of what happened after.  There’s flashbacks of a catfight, rocking the dancefloor dancing like a twat, underage drinkers crying, old women trying to seduce me and bumping into lots of friendly anonymous faces.  The rest has been blanked out.  I don’t drink to escape, but I do prefer to leave half-forgotten hazy drunken conversations as exactly that.

For no other reason other than it fills a space, have another poem.

Lady Rejection 

Straight from the start, built up in my heart,
the emancipation of emotion; When
my search for affection means lady rejection
will shit on my soul once again.